Today, I Fought -- Nashville
I wanted to take a break this morning while running the Nashville Komen for the Cure 5K.
A short 3.11 miles -- I run no less than 4-mile workouts during the week while training -- and I wanted to stop. It was through pure adrenaline and prayer from others that I got through today's run.

My body is spent. Seriously spent. I do not know how I ran a 23-something-minute race today other than by the grace of God.
The fact that I finished without stopping was my accomplishment for the day. I knew if I stopped, though, there would be some important people to answer to:
Today, my daughter is with me. How do I stop when she knows I'm running for a Cure? How do you answer those questions? I could not have faced her. I wouldn't have wanted to face her. Have you ever faced a 5-year-old, and had to be so honest with her that it scared you? This child of mine knows why I've been running these races the last three weekends. She knows I'm fighting for myself; that I'm fighting for her. How do you tell her you gave up when she sees all the survivors out there?
Today, my husband is with me. How do I stop today after the successes from the first two races in Shreveport and Chattanooga? How do I tell him, as he holds the hand of our Jenna at the finish line that I gave up?
That I thought it would be a good idea to rest for a few seconds? That this fight I'm fighting finally became too much for me? That I am so, so tired.
Today, my dad prayed for me. That I would get through the run. That I would be at peace. That he is thankful for what I'm doing. How would I have been able to call him and say, "Sure, I did good. Allowed myself to stop at mile 2 for some water. More prayer needed, please."
Today, my mom was with me. How do you stop when she never did? I wanted those few seconds of rest like nobody's business. I wanted to give my body a break. I'm tired of traveling, of packing, unpacking, of hotels. I love the cities I am traveling to for these Komen races, but getting to them and back is exhausting me.
I wanted water at 2 miles ... to walk at an easy pace and drink some damn water. I didn't want to run the last mile without that break. I deserved it.
But my mom deserved life.
I moved on. And kept running.
That last mile was filled with my mom. My mom who died at age 40. My mom, who never gave up. This incredible woman who fought to the end. There's nothing I can do to ever reach her level, but today I tried.
Today, for the first time on this journey, I really feel I fought.
A short 3.11 miles -- I run no less than 4-mile workouts during the week while training -- and I wanted to stop. It was through pure adrenaline and prayer from others that I got through today's run.
My body is spent. Seriously spent. I do not know how I ran a 23-something-minute race today other than by the grace of God.
The fact that I finished without stopping was my accomplishment for the day. I knew if I stopped, though, there would be some important people to answer to:
Today, my daughter is with me. How do I stop when she knows I'm running for a Cure? How do you answer those questions? I could not have faced her. I wouldn't have wanted to face her. Have you ever faced a 5-year-old, and had to be so honest with her that it scared you? This child of mine knows why I've been running these races the last three weekends. She knows I'm fighting for myself; that I'm fighting for her. How do you tell her you gave up when she sees all the survivors out there?
Today, my husband is with me. How do I stop today after the successes from the first two races in Shreveport and Chattanooga? How do I tell him, as he holds the hand of our Jenna at the finish line that I gave up?
Today, my dad prayed for me. That I would get through the run. That I would be at peace. That he is thankful for what I'm doing. How would I have been able to call him and say, "Sure, I did good. Allowed myself to stop at mile 2 for some water. More prayer needed, please."
Today, my mom was with me. How do you stop when she never did? I wanted those few seconds of rest like nobody's business. I wanted to give my body a break. I'm tired of traveling, of packing, unpacking, of hotels. I love the cities I am traveling to for these Komen races, but getting to them and back is exhausting me.
I wanted water at 2 miles ... to walk at an easy pace and drink some damn water. I didn't want to run the last mile without that break. I deserved it.
But my mom deserved life.
I moved on. And kept running.
That last mile was filled with my mom. My mom who died at age 40. My mom, who never gave up. This incredible woman who fought to the end. There's nothing I can do to ever reach her level, but today I tried.
Today, for the first time on this journey, I really feel I fought.
























1 Comments:
I know that your Mom is very proud of you...and I too, am very proud of you!! I cannot express to you how much it means to others that you finish this journey. I hope that you don't stop and that you know how many people admire you for what you are doing...keep moving!!
Marcus :)
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